5 Ways to Broach a Touchy Subject
As often as it’s done or thought about, sex is a topic that’s still difficult to discuss for many people. Sure, we may boast to our friends about our bedroom activity – or lament its scarcity – but real discussions with the people we’re intimate with are usually few and far between.
The truth is, if everything is great with your sex life – other than “Where should we do it now?” – no talking might be perfectly cool. But the longer a relationship goes on, the more likely issues or problems will emerge, and often the best way to deal with them is with an open and honest conversation. If you’re having trouble starting one with your partner, these tips can help:
1. Don’t Spring it on Them
While spontaneous sex can be great, spontaneous talk about it can be unwise. Timing is important. Bringing it up in bed – either before or after sex – could lead to your partner getting defensive and taint the location with bad memories. Instead, pick a time that’s right and a good spot; somewhere outside of the home might be the best bet.
2.Use the Sandwich Approach
When giving any sort of critical feedback, it’s important to deliver it in a way that won’t make your partner feel bad or upset, and you can do this by using the good-bad-good sandwich.
Start off the conversation by talking about what you enjoy about your sex life, perhaps mentioning a particularly good experience you had together. Then you can bring up the issue you want to address. Finally, you can discuss how resolving it will be good for both of you and make sex even better.
3. Stick to One Thing at a Time
If there are multiple things you think need to be changed or worked on, it may be tempting to get everything out in the open. This may not be the best idea, however, because it’s possible your partner didn’t think anything was wrong at all. Bombarding him or her with a variety of problems may result in the opposite effect of what you were hoping for and cause the person to become distant or otherwise shut down.
4. Ask Questions
If you are in a long-term relationship, chances are good that you’ve gotten into a routine with sex. This could mean that you’re doing things (or not doing things) that your partner isn’t entirely happy about. This is why you should make this conversation a two-way street. Ask about areas he or she thinks you could improve upon.
You should also figure out ways to enhance things for both of you. For example, if your partner works long days and comes home tired, sex in the evenings might not be that pleasurable. Maybe you need to mix things up and have some early-morning encounters. Be practical and flexible.
5. If Necessary, Get Help
In many situations, sexual problems can’t be fixed by conversation alone. If the issue is related to a medical condition, seek professional help. Some psychological issues may require the assistance of a therapist. And erectile dysfunction, for instance, can be demoralizing and sexually debilitating.
If this is the case, you should seek help. There are now numerous ways of addressing ED, and one of the most effective involves soundwaves. This type of therapy doesn’t involve any drugs or surgery, and the results are proven to work for most men.
Whatever the Issue, Don’t Just Ignore it
You may be nervous to talk to your partner about sex, but once you start – if you approach it the right way – you’ll likely see that it wasn’t something you needed to worry about. Getting into the habit of open communication will enhance sex for both of you.
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